They should remember that I scuba dive.
Scuba diving is not glamorous. And you cannot be high maintenance if you dive.
Right now, I’m on day five of the great father-daughter adventure. Which means I’ve spent half of the last four days either at sea or in the sea. With two more to go.
Sure, scuba diving sounds glamorous and I get to go to exotic places like Belize and Papua New Guinea…but there is NOTHING exotic about neoprene bodysuits. Or marine toilets.
Let me tell you what life is like.
We wake up, and schlep our dive gear down to the “marina.” We board the large bathtub boat, and take the roller coaster boat ride to the dive site. This is after hauling air tanks, repairing the boat engine, and fixing whatever else broke overnight. And don’t even think about bringing anything that needs to stay dry onto the boat. There is no such thing as “dry” on a dive boat.
Once you get to the reef, after getting pelted in the face with salt spray for thirty minutes to an hour, it’s time to shove yourself into five millimeters of neoprene so you’re not freezing once you hit the ocean floor. And no one, no matter how good looking you are, looks good in a wetsuit. It’s just…not a good look.
And after four days of diving, it doesn’t matter how much you try to wash things…they just smell like ocean. And not the good salt smell that reminds you of the spa.
Did I mention the part where you spit inside your mask so it doesn’t fog up? Because that’s really sexy.
After spending a few hours in the ocean, you come back from the boat covered in a mix of salt, sweat, and sunscreen. And get ready to do it all again the next day. Why? Because divers are just crazy like that. And the ocean is full of cool stuff to look at.
Right now, my hair feels like straw from being continually submerged in salt water. I have water in my ears so I’m half deaf and off balance. My feet have a few raw spots from my fins, which won’t heal up due to continually being wet. I’m starting to break out from wearing layers of grease sunscreen. I haven’t worn makeup in days. My blood is full of nitrogen and my throat is scratchy from inhaling compressed air. And don’t bother trying to look pretty. It’s so hot here you start sweating even with air conditioning on.
But this is the scuba life. And it’s worth it.
So no, I am not high maintenance.
And besides, high maintenance is just another word for high quality.
cakerypapery 
LOVE.