It’s the nice guys that get you, EVERY TIME. They start out all nice and normal and romantic, and then you wake up one day and they do something super classy like call it off over text message.
The latest?
He is on to what’s “next!” because I didn’t offer to pay for parking.
(No, you are not hallucinating.)
Oh, and I found out via his FB status update. So while I’m asleep dreaming of the next date, he’s posting the “she didn’t even fake offer to pay for parking, next!” to FB, knowing that I’ll likely see it the next morning.
Almost as good as the time I was broken up with via FB relationship-status change…NOT JOKING HERE EITHER.
PARKING. IT WAS THE SECOND DATE. Are you sh*tting me, life?
I have several thoughts.
- Do you want the girl that pays for parking, or the girl you have a really awesome connection with and can’t stop thinking about? I like to think it’s the second, especially since you talked about how awesome it is that I’m career driven, I volunteer all over the city, and I look great in a mini skirt. Oh, and there were the multiple ‘thinking about you,’ ‘can’t wait to see you,’ ‘daydreaming about you’ text messages I received.
- I offered to pick up the rest of dinner, which, btw, you paid for with A GIFT CARD. And, when you refused, I acknowledged that you had paid the first and second date. Which, if you remember from the multiple cupcakes and brownies and beers I had brought to your house in the past because we actually never went on a date, just watched movies, was probably a sign that I was going to do something nice for you in return. Now, I know the remaining $5 on the dinner bill plus tip isn’t the same as the $7.50 that parking cost, but if you’re looking for the arbitrary “fake attempt” to pay, pretty sure it happened.
- Also, you DO NOT purposefully play the obscure band that we both like on the ride home from dinner, give me an amazing kiss goodnight, and tell me you will see me again soon if you are planning to post about parking on FB. THIS IS NOT OKAY.
- Are you really willing to write me off so quickly without even allowing me the opportunity to do something nice for you in return? Sorry for draining your bank account over the course of two dates. So while you’re bemoaning the two dates we went on which you claimed were amazing, I’ll be doing something really amazing for someone who will actually appreciate it.
- It was the second date. I’m generally on my best behavior (which, apparently, doesn’t include paying for parking) on the second date because I’d like to go on a third one. SECOND. DATE. As my y-chromosome enabled friends have informed me, dates 1 through 5 are supposed to be amazing so I want to keep dating you. They also think paying for parking is a “man” thing and that I just dodged a bullet.
Oh, and btw buddy, you just posted on your FB wall about how cheap you are, so good luck the next time you try dating.
cakerypapery 
Wow, really? You need your own reality show.
I wish I made this stuff up. But no. It’s true.
I’m no where near perfect, but parking?? Really life?
Wow who was this idiot? GO girl!
On Mon, Jan 14, 2013 at 9:21 AM, cakerypapery
I do what I can.
I’d rather be single than with someone who has T-Rex arms.
You said it Big Kev. GO girl.
So glad you discovered this awesome blog, Keith! Also people need to check themselves on FB, srsly.
It’s a rough world out there.
Apparently parking is a deal-breaker these days.
Good Riddance.