Oh, how I wish I was better at complaining giving feedback.
Overcooked steak? It’s not a big deal, I don’t mind.
Beans in my greens & sausage? No bother, I’ll just eat around them.
Completely horrible customer service at a store? Faulty product? Terribly long wait and then horrible service? Situations where I know something needs to be rectified? I tend to keep my mouth shut.
(Likely because, for some freakishly odd reason, I can’t be bitchy to strangers.)
(Unless they are asking me for money.)
Which is why I’m glad overjoyed to have chanced upon The Complainer.
He is a professional complainer. Not in the awful “I just want to bitch about things way” but in the “I am dissatisfied, please work to remedy my situation and rectify this customer service failure” way.
Neighbors with a barking dog?
Bad haircut?
Missed flight?
Terrible time at your gym?
Writing a letter of complaint?
The Complainer has advice for it ALL. Let’s take the barking dog.
“You should obvious start to resolve the complaint in a civilised matter with a cosy chat with your neighbour. Make sure that you drop by at an opportune moment and do not wade in with a hugely aggressive approach to the problem.”
Civilised (with an s!) matter? cosy (with an s!) chat? #LOVE HIM.
But don’t worry. He’s not a total pansy with his civilised chats. He goes on to talk about contacting your local PD with noise complaints, and the SPCA if you see the animal being treated cruelly. (and he cares about animals!)
THE BEST PART? He’s British, and feels it’s so very un-British to complain, but he doesn’t want to be a twitching rabbit and has realized realised that by being politely assertive you can stop receiving the short straw.
I bet my complaints constructive criticisms would sound way better if I had a British accent too.
cakerypapery 
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