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Love is a Data Field

5 Feb

So I was reading this article from Wired yesterday – it was all about how a math professor hacked the OKCupid algorithm to find better dating matches. #mathisawesome.

During this “experiment,” he kept a dating journal. And this got me to thinking — what if I had kept a dating journal? Not just for the last few years, but from the very first date. (which, btw, was to the movie “She’s All That.”)

“From the very first date” is a lot of data. And dates. If I had kept the journal, would it have prevented some of the missteps and heartbreak along the way? Would I be cracking my own data code?

I’m not sure. But if I had to write a set of rules for dating based off the from the very first date data, they would probably contain the following gems of common sense wisdom.

  1. If he doesn’t call you, it’s not because he lost your number. It’s because he doesn’t want to call you.
  2. Don’t date a guy that drives a Kia. Just…don’t.
  3. Avoid run-on dates. And run-on sentences.
  4. Nothing good happens after midnight. Nothing.
  5. Don’t drink too much on dates. Seriously, don’t drink too much.
  6. You’re worth it. Never. Settle.
  7. The following should come with a warning sign: douchebags, commitment-phobes, cheaters, liars, the unemployed, and those threatened by a strong woman. And don’t ignore the warning signs.
  8. Personal space is really, really, important. It will save a relationship.
  9. People don’t change. Yourself included.
  10. It’s just as hard to walk away as it is to stay. Sometimes harder.
  11. And watching a movie at his place? NOT A DATE.

Good ‘ole #11. Gets us ladies every time. We think watching a movie means non-flurescent lights and some good conversation…”But I really want to watch the movie” said no guy ever.

So, in-between all this memory lane stuff, I’ll just be here re-reading my HJNTIY powerpoint…and maybe thinking that my very first date? It wasn’t so bad.

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