So I was reading this article from Wired yesterday – it was all about how a math professor hacked the OKCupid algorithm to find better dating matches. #mathisawesome.
During this “experiment,” he kept a dating journal. And this got me to thinking — what if I had kept a dating journal? Not just for the last few years, but from the very first date. (which, btw, was to the movie “She’s All That.”)
“From the very first date” is a lot of data. And dates. If I had kept the journal, would it have prevented some of the missteps and heartbreak along the way? Would I be cracking my own data code?
I’m not sure. But if I had to write a set of rules for dating based off the from the very first date data, they would probably contain the following gems of common sense wisdom.
- If he doesn’t call you, it’s not because he lost your number. It’s because he doesn’t want to call you.
- Don’t date a guy that drives a Kia. Just…don’t.
- Avoid run-on dates. And run-on sentences.
- Nothing good happens after midnight. Nothing.
- Don’t drink too much on dates. Seriously, don’t drink too much.
- You’re worth it. Never. Settle.
- The following should come with a warning sign: douchebags, commitment-phobes, cheaters, liars, the unemployed, and those threatened by a strong woman. And don’t ignore the warning signs.
- Personal space is really, really, important. It will save a relationship.
- People don’t change. Yourself included.
- It’s just as hard to walk away as it is to stay. Sometimes harder.
- And watching a movie at his place? NOT A DATE.
Good ‘ole #11. Gets us ladies every time. We think watching a movie means non-flurescent lights and some good conversation…”But I really want to watch the movie” said no guy ever.
So, in-between all this memory lane stuff, I’ll just be here re-reading my HJNTIY powerpoint…and maybe thinking that my very first date? It wasn’t so bad.