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Friday Find: Gordon Ramsay Meets Amy’s Baking Company

24 May

I have a serious crush on Gordon Ramsay.

And Kitchen Nightmares? It’s one of my favorite drinking games TV shows.

So when you need a good laugh this weekend, watch the episode on Amy’s Baking Company.

Not to spoil the surprise but…it’s EPIC. In soooooooo many ways.

First, there’s the fact that Amy’s restaurant has been financed by her sugar-daddy, ex-Vegas playboy husband.

Second, Gordon actually compliments her food! Amy apparently is good at something – baking.

Third, the meltdown is just…too good for words.

They yell at customers. Claim God is on their side. Threaten to call the police on a few people. And fire the bus girl on the spot.

Oh, and Amy’s babies? They’re three little boys…trapped inside cat bodies. MEOW!

Friday Find: Thug Kitchen

26 Apr

It’s been a long week.

And I mean a looooooooong week.

But don’t worry, I have the perfect Friday pick-me-up, courtesy of one LD.

Ever heard of Thug Kitchen?

Well, now you have.

Never trust a glove with a face.

Or so they say.

This stuff is deep bro, real deep.

And yes, I will get down on some lavender lemonade. LIKE A BOSS.

Friday Find: The Most Angry Sorority Girl. EVER.

19 Apr

If you’re reading the letter at the link below for the first time, ROCK ON.

If you saw this yesterday, YOU DON’T SUCK. (her words, not mine).

I’m tempted to think this is a hoax. In fact, I think it might be.

Otherwise, this chick needs a reality show. STAT.

And then I need to become her friend. Or frenemy.

STAT.

Read all the juicy details here.

UPDATE:

Michael Shannon has obliged with a dramatic reading of said email. She’s still the most angry sorority girl ever, but this does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

#LOVE.

Friday Find: The Complainer

12 Apr

The Complainer

Oh, how I wish I was better at complaining giving feedback.

Overcooked steak? It’s not a big deal, I don’t mind.

Beans in my greens & sausage? No bother, I’ll just eat around them.

Completely horrible customer service at a store? Faulty product? Terribly long wait and then horrible service? Situations where I know something needs to be rectified? I tend to keep my mouth shut. 

(Likely because, for some freakishly odd reason, I can’t be bitchy to strangers.)

(Unless they are asking me for money.)

Which is why I’m glad overjoyed to have chanced upon The Complainer.

He is a professional complainer. Not in the awful “I just want to bitch about things way” but in the “I am dissatisfied, please work to remedy my situation and rectify this customer service failure” way.

Neighbors with a barking dog?

Bad haircut?

Missed flight?

Terrible time at your gym?

Writing a letter of complaint?

The Complainer has advice for it ALL. Let’s take the barking dog.

“You should obvious start to resolve the complaint in a civilised matter with a cosy chat with your neighbour.  Make sure that you drop by at an opportune moment and do not wade in with a hugely aggressive approach to the problem.”

Civilised (with an s!) matter? cosy (with an s!) chat? #LOVE HIM.

But don’t worry. He’s not a total pansy with his civilised chats. He goes on to talk about contacting your local PD with noise complaints, and the SPCA if you see the animal being treated cruelly. (and he cares about animals!)

THE BEST PART? He’s British, and feels it’s so very un-British to complain, but he doesn’t want to be a twitching rabbit and has realized realised that by being politely assertive you can stop receiving the short straw.

I bet my complaints constructive criticisms would sound way better if I had a British accent too.

Friday Find: Jeah boy!

5 Apr

Do you ever have that moment, where, when faced with one of life’s deepest mysteries…you wonder…

WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO?

Well, wonder no more. America’s sexiest d-bag is getting his own show, courtesy of a fine purveyor of cinematic artistry.

Who are we kidding. The show is slated to be on E!

Did I ever mention that one time, when I was like 10, I was at the same summer swim camp as Ryan Lochte? This was back when he was a measly whiny little kid, and not a your average “I win many, many, many gold medals” garden-variety Olympian.

Luckily for us, Ryan is sharing his inner thoughts with the rest of us mortals.

The previews make this look pretty epic. Gems of wisdom like “When you think of America, you think of hot dogs,” and lessons in how to correctly pronounce “jeah,” which, btw, he has TRADEMARKED.

Oh, and this one just won me over. “Don’t duplicate, just recipitate.” Recipitate??

Aaaaaand I’ll never get those four minutes back.

WWRLD premieres April 21, if you can wait that long.

Friday Find: Martha’s Best Courtroom Quotes

8 Mar

Oh, that Martha Stewart.

She fascinates me.

Did we mention she’s back in court? As in, the New York State Supreme Court. From what I hear, this is often referred to as a “big deal.”

This time, it was to testify in a “contract dispute” between Martha, Macy’s, and JCP. Apparently, Martha inked a somewhat-exclusive deal with Macy’s, and then also agreed to sell her brand with JCP. Needless to say, Macy’s isn’t having it.

But, don’t you need two casserole dishes from two different stores? As Martha says, “They might have two houses, they might have two kitchens.”

Other gems from Martha’s four-hours of testimony?

Well, there was the bit about Mr. Johnson, the CEO of JCP, wearing a Penny’s shirt and tie to court. Or the part where the Macy’s CEO admitted that people don’t like Martha, but they really like her casserole dishes. Or the massive court coverage of Martha’s massive canary diamond earrings.

So far my favorite find in this whole debacle is this article with Martha’s top 13 courtroom quotes.

It’s worth a read, surely.

Because, I mean, isn’t buying polyester just really, really, sad? 

Friday Find: Le Parcel

1 Mar

Soooo…there are tons of subscription services popping up all over. First there was Birchbox, and now there is everything from snack boxes to mail-delivery cocktails.

(Sidecar…I mean sidebar. If anyone really wants to be my friend surprise me, I want the Juliboxobvi).

The latest?

Le Parcel.

Sounds fancy, right?

And it LOOKS FANCY too.

Le Parcel

But let’s be real here folks.

It’s tampon delivery.

Now, I don’t mean to scare anyone away with the word “tampon.” But, apparently going to the grocery store for tampons is the equivalent of social leprosy — so just pay $15 a month and you can get 30 products of your choice, delivered right to your door!

Did I mention it comes with chocolate too? Because that’s not stereotypical AT ALL.

And cosmetics or some special “gift.” So I can be on a sugar high AND cover my acne, duh.

On the website, under “Why every girl needs Le Parcel,” the reasons include variety is the spice of life. Now, I don’t know about other women out there, but this isn’t exactly an area where I want to experiment with new products.

“Hey, I wonder if that new tampon brand actually works, let me try it just for fun” SAID NO WOMAN EVER.

Yup. This service actually exists.

Still want to learn more? Well, I hate to disappoint, but I’m not signing up for Le Parcel…yet…or maybe ever. So I won’t be reviewing it. Glamorable has a good review up, however, where you can read all about the in’s and out’s of tampon delivery.

Have an awesome Friday.