It’s been a long week.
And I mean a looooooooong week.
But don’t worry, I have the perfect Friday pick-me-up, courtesy of one LD.
Ever heard of Thug Kitchen?
Well, now you have.
Never trust a glove with a face.
This stuff is deep bro, real deep.
And yes, I will get down on some lavender lemonade. LIKE A BOSS.
So I was out in le Texas visiting CPBF, who happens to be pretty awesome.
We went and stalked the longhorns.
And some cows.
Silver Cow.
Black cow.
Then we went to Hullabaloos. And Freebirds.
Like I said, pretty awesome.
So I made CPBF some epic macaroni and cheese. With bacon.
Because everything is better with bacon.
I wasn’t as much of a food pornographer as I normally am (probably too many mojitos and stalking hanging out with CPBF out at the grill…) but I still think it looks good.
And did I mention I wasn’t cooking on home turf? Always. Intimidating.
Here’s the deal. You melt the butter, whisk in the flour. (No whisk? Use a fork.) This is the ‘roux’ part which you need to thicken stuff up. Add in the milk, and cook over medium-low heat…until it thickens up. Make sure you keep stirring. Patience people!
Then, add in the cheddar & gruyere cheese, and whisk until smooth.
While the whole milk-thickening business is going on, boil some water for the pasta.
DO NOT add olive oil to the water. Hugest myth in pasta making. Oil will coat the pasta, and prevent your sauce from sticking to it. Do not add olive oil. Just some salt.
When you drain the pasta, reserve some of the cooking water – in case you need it to loosen up the sauce. (I doubt you will, but justin, justin case…)
So, after you drain the pasta, mix it with the cheese sauce, and pour into a baking dish. Top with the bacon, some more cheese, and 15 minutes later, epic mac and cheese.
I always put a cookie sheet under the pan while baking, in case stuff bubbles over.
Not going to lie, this was pretty awesome sauce. (and I don’t say that about everything I make, just some things.)
Macaroni & Cheese with Bacon Recipe:
Preheat the oven to 375F. Cut the bacon into 1-inch pieces, and cook until crisp. In a saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add in the flour and whisk until smooth. Slowly add in the whole milk, whisking continually. Continue whisking until mixture thickens, about 10 minutes. Add in all of the gruyere and 2 cups of the cheddar. Stir until melted.
When you start the butter, put on a pot of water to boil for the pasta. Cook until al dente and drain, reserving some of the cooking water. When the cheese sauce is ready, mix together the cheese sauce and the pasta, and pour into a casserole dish. Top with the bacon, and remaining 1/2 cup grated cheddar. Bake at 375F for 15 to 20 minutes, until cheese is melted and sauce is bubbling.
You know you’re dedicated when you cut out individual N’sync and Notorious B.I.G. action figures to use as cupcake toppers for a 90’s party…
But seriously, these are awesome.
Like any cupcake flag, after you slice them out very carefully, don’t want to lose a Backstreet Boy, tape them onto toothpicks, and you are good to go.
In case you’re wondering, the cupcakes are Irish Creme, and were epic & delicious.
Boozy cupcakes + 90’s cupcake flags? #Winning.
So I love cake. Like, literally love cake.
And Tiffany’s. And cake plates. And any sort of project that involves hot glue.
Saving the world, one hot glue gun burn at a time? I like to think so.
When my bff was in town this weekend, we whipped up this DIY tiffany blue cake stand.
The base is a candle holder, and the top is a dinner plate. I was a “maxinista” (#shamerattle) and procured both of these items for less than $10.
Add a little hot glue, and you have a cake stand.
Seriously, I could give the chick who made the ‘redneck wine glasses’ a run for her money with these.
#Love.
Now, all I need is some cake.
So every once in a while I go out on a limb and I make something other than cupcakes.
Wait, you can actually cook things besides cupcakes?
Yes, I do occasionally make things that do not involve mass quantities of butter and/or confectioners’ sugar.
Emphasis on “occasionally.”
So a few weeks back I mixed up these delicious and oh-so-nutritous dog treats.
They are made with organic peanut butter, oats, and coconut.
Promptly scarfed down by hungry dogs…and cats.
And in the event a family member thinks these are cookies and eats one…well, it will taste like a very dry and not very sweet peanut butter cookie. How do I know? Don’t ask…
Peanut Butter Oatmeal Dog Treat Recipe:
Preheat oven to 350F. Mix all the dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl, stir together the wet ingredients. Slowly add the dry mixture to the wet ingredients, until well combined. Add additional flour or oats until you have a consistency suitable for rolling cut-outs. On wax paper, roll dough to 1/2 inch think and cut out treats. Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Let cool, and enjoy! Store in an airtight container for freshness.
I may have a soft spot in my heart for Bailey’s…and a hollow leg to store it in…
So let’s be honest with each other. And admit it.
We’ve both had moments where, it’s say…a Tuesday morning…and its time to leave for work…and a thought pops into your mind…Man, I wish it was socially acceptable to put a splash of Bailey’s in my a.m. coffee.
If at this point you’re saying “That’s never happened to me,” think back to the holidays and STOP LYING.
Irish cream is delicious. Just admit it already. It’s Christmas in a glass.
So to get around the apparent “frowned upon” factor of drinking on the job (insert ‘frowned upon’ Hangover movie reference here), I make irish cream cupcakes.
In bite size form.
It’s like Christmas. In a cupcake. Bite size.
Amaze sauce.
You’ll need a mini cupcake pan for these. Luckily, I have one because I have every kitchen item available and yes I know my having so much kitchen stuff really cuts down on what I can put on my wedding registry. But since I’m not registering for anything anytime soon…back to cupcakes.
You could make a full-size cupcake, but these are just…cuter.
Without frosting they’re naked. But I still dig it.
Improvements? These could only get better if served with a batch of homemade Bailey’s.
Funny you should mention that…
So I wish you happy baking & bailey’s-ing, and happy freaking holidays. (Even though it’s November.)
I love Christmas, it’s my favorite holiday,and I can’t wait to post about it. So I hope you enjoy some early Christmas cheer with an irish cream cupcake.
And please, cakerypapery reminds you, always cupcake responsibly.
Irish Cream Cupcake Recipe:
For the frosting:
Preheat the oven to 350F. Stir together flour, baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl, mix together butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla, and mix until well blended. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture, alternating with the irish cream. Mix until smooth, but don’t overmix! Line cupcake pan with paper liners, and fill each one 2/3 full. Bake in the oven (one pan at a time) for 15 minutes, or until just slightly golden brown.
For the frosting, mix all the ingredients together until smooth and creamy. Add more confectioners’ sugar or irish cream if needed to give frosting the desired consistency.
Okay, I made another Sandra Lee-esque recipe. Shame rattle.
Sandra Lee must want to spite me, because I have never gotten so many compliments on my baking at work before. Like, ever. And this is about the least scientific thing I have ever made.
It takes just five ingredients. One of them comes in a pop-open can. But it tastes amazing.
Be warned: it will make your house smell of cinnamon buttery goodness and you most likely will not be able to contain yourself from taking a bite.
You layer together crescent rolls and cream cheese, then top with butter, cinnamon and sugar.
Instant cheesecake. In just about 30 minutes. It reminds me of a fried cheesecake, like you would get at a Mexican restaurant.
I imagine this served with vanilla ice cream…some sort of raspberry drizzle…a sprig of mint on the side…champagne…conversation about how swell life is…sigh.
Mexican Cheesecake Recipe:
Preheat the oven to 350F. Unroll one package of crescent rolls and place in the bottom of a 13 x 9 pan. Smooth the edges together to eliminate any puncture marks. Mix together cream cheese, 1 cup sugar, and vanilla. Spread over the top of the crescent roll. Unravel the second package of crescent rolls, and place on top of the cream cheese layer. Brush melted butter on top, and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar. Bake at 350F for 30 minutes.
You can also make this a day in advance–layer together the crescent rolls and cream cheese mixture and refridgerate. When you are ready to bake, just top with butter, cinnamon and sugar.
So several things that I am prejudging myself on here.
First, I try to avoid making recipes that have an animal in the name. Like, duh.
Second, I don’t like recipes whose consumption method is prime for hand contamination. I’d rather not get Ebola or a tapeworm, thankyouverymuch.
And third, I canNOT stand Sandra Lee, so anything that resembles a recipe she would feature on “Semi Homemade” makes me want vomit. Do you think she “tablescapes” the governor’s mansion?
But I will make an exception for monkey bread. Because it is delicious.
And I made it in mini, individualized portions, which eliminated issue 2 above. And…I can always mitigate issues #1 and #3 with a large glass of wine. Just like Sandra Lee would do.
Monkey bread is super easy and super delicious. It’s five ingredients. The recipe calls for sugar, cinnamon, brown sugar, and butter. Plus Pillsbury biscuits.
Like I said. Start with these, semi-homemade.
Then you chop the biscuits into 6 pieces each, and toss with sugar & cinnamon.
Press the pieces together into the pan.
Glaze with melted brown sugar and butter.
And bake.
Omfg yum.
I used a mini-bundt pan for this monkey cake, but you could easily use a large muffin tin as well.
Mini Monkey Bread Recipe:
1 can Pillsbury Grands Buttermilk Biscuits
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
3/8 cup unsalted butter, melted
Preheat oven to 350F. Cut the uncooked biscuits into 6-8 pieces. Mix together the sugar and cinnamon, and toss with the biscuit pieces. Press biscuit pieces into lightly greased pan, about 5-6 pieces per tin. Mix together melted butter and brown sugar, and pour over biscuits in pan. Bake for 25 minutes. Let cool 5-10 minutes in pan, and then remove.
For a full-size monkey cake recipe, visit the Pillsbury recipe page.
Have you ever been in a pickle? What about up to your elbows in pickles? What about cleaning up a mason jar of homemade pickles that you knocked over on your way out to the pool in the middle of the night and then rearranging the remaining ones so no one knew a jar was missing because you were in high school and heaven forbid you got grounded over the pickles? Yea…didn’t think so.
July & August is pickle time at my parents’ house. Lots and lots of pickles. Straight from the victory garden. My dad grows almost everything in his garden. The cucumbers, hot peppers, garlic, dill…it goes on.
You start with nice, clean Mason jars.
Add garlic.
Hot peppers.
More spices.
Dill. And more dill.
Then pickling cucumbers.
And brine.
Seal the jar, and refrigerate for two months. In the end, it’ll be a delicious jar of dill-ness.
(I would so get invited to the collective, because I would bring pickles.)
Do you ever have those times where you just wish there was a place that served bottomless chips and salsa, alongside bottomless margaritas? It would be even better if said place had a happy hour that didn’t require you to drain your bank account.
And don’t lie…I know I’m not the only one.
So I really like doing happy hour at home, on my porch. I’ve got a sweet glider swing and the weather is amazing lately. Plus, I can have as many margaritas as I want when I’m at home.
The problem issue is, I’m a bit of a salsa and margarita snob. I haven’t ever found a grocery-store jar salsa that I really like—they are all either too chunky, too watery, or too full of artsy things like “mango” and “jicama.” And as for margaritas, I have a recipe that I like, but I’m always open to suggestions, as long as I’m not going to end a) stinking drunk or b) with heartburn.
(Personally, I can’t decide if I prefer a or b.)
Which is why this salsa is pretty much perfect for me. It’s a restaurant-style salsa, not too chunky, not too spicy, just right. It was also served with a margarita that I didn’t have to make, which clearly upped the delicious factor.
The restaurant-style salsa recipe is pretty simple. Canned whole tomatoes, some Rotel, garlic, cilantro, onion, cumin, lime, and a jalapeno. You just blend everything together in a food processor, and you’re done.
Make sure you buy good, quality tomatoes, as these are the base for the salsa. Look for whole Roma tomatoes, or, San Marzano tomatoes taste amazing when you really want to splurge. And yes, not all canned tomatoes are the same.
As for the margarita, I have no idea on the exact ratio of ingredients, but I do know its tequila, gran marnier, lime juice, and simple syrup. These are cp-bf’s specialty, so I just leave the mixing and magic to him.
Plus, the salsa makes a big enough batch that I was able to fill up three smaller mason jars with it, and still have some leftover. Which was perfect, as I had a housewarming party to go to last weekend. Yet another great easy and inexpensive DIY present.
Restaurant-Style Salsa:
Combine all the ingredients in a 12-cup food processor. Squeeze in the lime juice. Pulse the ingredients until the desired consistency is reached. Adjust seasonings as needed.
You do need to use a larger food processor, as this makes a decent-sized batch. If you don’t have a 12-cup processor, you could pulse the ingredients in batches and then combine together in a large bowl.
If you want your salsa to be less spicy, remove the seeds and veins from the jalapeno before using.
(and in the spirit of honesty, I first saw this recipe on Pioneer Woman.)
cakerypapery 